


Of Padaleckis and Penguins

by Amberdreams



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, M/M, Penguins, Winter Olympics, no birds were harmed in the writing of this fic, other things as yet undecided, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 00:18:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13729122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberdreams/pseuds/Amberdreams
Summary: In which Jared wakes up to find a penguin in his hotel room. Can his life get any weirder?





	1. The Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this as a chapter in the hopes of incentivising myself to get the rest written. Not something I usually do but why not experiment, huh?

 

Jared wakes up in increments. The first stage is a vague awareness that he exists, closely followed by the pained realisation that existence is overrated. He’d swear someone has replaced his brain with a jellyfish and his mouth tastes like rotting fish. Added to which woes, his chest is --weird. Kind of itchy and scratchy and weighed down with something warm but prickly.

 

Jared cracks open one eye, then the other. Light stabs him in the retinas and he winces, trying to focus. Fuckin’ Chad and his homemade punch. This is seriously the last time Jared will let Chad persuade him to…

 

“Holy fucking shit!”

 

Jared absolutely does not scream. He’s just taken by surprise is all. It’s a perfectly normal reaction to finding a live penguin sitting on your chest when you wake up with the hangover from hell. The penguin takes exception to Jared’s flailing and does some of its own, accompanied by some rather piercing protests that don’t help ease Jared’s headache one tiny bit. Though the penguin’s presence might help explain Jared’s brain being overwhelmed by fishy odours since he woke up.

 

Jared sits up while gingerly grabbing the distressed and squawking bird and placing it on the floor. He grimaces when he notices both his t shirt and the hotel room carpet appear to have been victims of a Jackson Pollock tribute artist who only works in shades of off-white. It looks like his new friend the tiny penguin has been hopping around their room for a while.

 

Staggering to his feet, Jared makes his way to the en suite, desperately hoping Chad isn’t monopolising the facilities. His body isn’t at all clear whether it wants the toilet for throwing up or pissing in, but in either event, Jared’s need is urgent.

 

He slips on a generous smear of guano on his way back into the bedroom and curses. Housekeeping are so going to kill them for the mess this damn bird’s made, and Jared is so going to kill Chad, because this is obviously all Chad’s fucking fault.

 

Except that, apart from the admittedly rather cute penguin, their hotel room is empty, and therefore significantly Chad-free. Said penguin tilts its head and peers at Jared with one squinty blue eye.

 

“Auk?”

 

Jared has an epiphany.

 

“Ohmygod! Chad!”

 

His stupid best friend has been totally turned into a bird. How could Jared not have realised this from the moment he woke up? Apart from being not much more than a foot tall and kind of slatey-blue, the penguin looks exactly like Chad Michael Murray.

 

 


	2. Pants, Padaleckis and penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen's beauty sleep is disturbed.

Jensen is grateful the Olympic athletes’ accommodation is so (relatively) lavish this time. The rooms are spacious, and the provision of an en suite is a real luxury compared to four years ago, when unless you’d been able to hold on until the middle of the night, there was invariably a queue for the bathrooms. The only downside is the thinness of the walls.

Which hasn’t been too much of a problem – until now. Jensen rolls over and checks the clock. Three forty AM. Jensen is supposed to be up at five thirty to get some ice-time in before breakfast and a morning in the gym. Today is going to be intense. Jensen’s first speed skating distance, the 500m, takes place tomorrow. So Jensen only has one training day left before his games really starts, whereas the two snowboarders in the room next door have nothing left to look forward to except the closing ceremony.

To be honest, Jensen had been expecting some noisy celebrations from his neighbours tonight. And while Jensen’s being honest, he’ll admit to having a slight crush on the taller of the two snowboarders, which might just have been intensified yesterday by seeing Padalecki win a bronze in the Slopestyle.

Across the room Jensen’s roommate Tom snuffles and farts as he turns over. Jensen rolls his eyes. The tall curler can sleep through a frigging apocalypse. Tom being a good sleeper normally makes him Jensen’s perfect roomie, but tonight Jensen would kind of appreciate some company, because the noises coming from the room next door are not only irritatingly loud, but perplexing. A second opinion on what he was hearing would have been welcome.

A few minutes of silence lull Jensen into dozing off, which makes it twice as annoying when there’s a loud thump, yelling and – yes. There it is again. A kind of weird squawking that didn’t sound human. Wide awake, Jensen’s had enough.

He’s out of bed and pulling on his sweat pants before he can have second thoughts about invading another athlete’s bedroom in the middle of the night. His bare feet are thankful for the under-floor heating as he exits his room and stalks down the corridor. 

He doesn’t bother knocking of Padalecki and Murray’s door, just turns the handle and walks right in.

The last thing he’s expecting to find is Padalecki, resplendently topless but with his lower half clad in a pair of the Norwegian curling team’s pink-heart pants, on his knees talking to a Fairy Penguin.

“What the f….!”


End file.
